Going on the ski train tomorrow. No i’m not going to ski. Just going to go on the train with the family and going to enjoy watching hubby take the children for the day while I spa. Yes…SPA!! Love my Christmas present. Such is the life.

For Christmas I ordered my brother in law something from Texas Pepper Jelly. He’s a spicy kind of guy and like things tangy. Not me. I am a plain Jane kind of gal. I did a search for some spicy jelly or rubs. I thought about something with those little tiny red peppers that will burn at just the site of them. Anyway I got him this from Texas Pepper Jelly. I was a little afraid when he said that on New Years he would use it when we came over. He knew that it would get me because as I’ve mentioned before I am not a spicy kind of gal. Heartburn normally eats me up.
We went to the party and had ribs and steak. There was nothing left because the sauce was so delicious that everything was gone. Even the kids kept asking for more while licking their fingers and lips. Yes, it was tangy and spicy but it was so good.
If you need a gift that is yummy, pop on over there and check out what they have. If you try it, you will be hooked.
www.texaspepperjelly.com

A silly little obsession has taken over our house. Since the Wii Fit was given at Christmas it has become a little crazy. Even though I am overweight, I still have incredible balance and body control. Yes, there you have it. I’m a fit person trapped inside a fluffy exterior. I still play volleyball once or twice a week. I have to be a bit agile to beat the snot out of the men that hog the net. I have a secret defense against the tall guys in the front. They take one look at my 5′4″ shortness and my fluffiness and think I cannot block them. HA HA. I slam it in their faces a few times before they learn. Anyway…back to the Wii.
So as it was telling me that I am in fact fluffy and that I need to work out every day, it gave me a Wii fit age (based on agility and balance) of 32!!!!!!!!!! That’s 8 years younger than I am. I can deal with that. Now to have the body of a 21 year old.
It’s like working out with a partner. It’s kind of silly working out with these little Mii’s, but fun fun fun. I can’t feel as if I am exercising. I have to fake it. So we will see how this affects my weight. I will be the true live test. I’ll take you on Wii.

UPDATE ON THE BOYS!!!!!!!!!!

For those of you that have been following through the past year…I HAVE AN UPDATE ON THE BOYS. If you have no clue what I am talking about READ HERE You can also read all of their updates as well.

I got a very special Christmas Present this year!! One that I did not expect. One that means so much to me that I cry a bit still looking at it. I got an angel pin. Yes an angel pin from the boys. I never considered myself an angel but for some reason I can accept this with humility and love.
If you have followed from the beginning you know that the boys are adopted now. It has been a year since they were adopted. *Has it really been that long? NO WAY. I had a special Christmas with them on the 23rd. I can honestly say that they are happy. Happy and so loved. Even the boy that was so negative and hauntingly strange has started to come into his own. He has started playing different types of musical instruments and they now realize that he has the soul of a true musician and they are encouraging him. The oldest is so open with me when I see him. He is not afraid to come and just hug me without delay. He wrote me a letter for Christmas and I wanted to share it.

“Words can not tell you how much I love you. You have been our angel. You have been our light. I don’t know where we would be now without you having stepped in. Bio Mom will be in jail for a long time. It is nice to know that we are wanted by our new mom. She spoils us. We get a story every night. I am learning to write the things that bother me down on paper so that I can express my thoughts. They gave me a journal for my birthday. It is leather. I like it. I like writing.
I wonder where I would be now if you had turned the other way. I know where I would be. I would be with Alex. I miss Alex so much. He was such a sweet baby. I feel bad sometimes because I had to take care of him and I did not want to do it. My mom says that God knew that he needed a brave big brother to yell to the police for help when they finally came. I guess she is right. I don’t know. It still kind of confuses me.
Thank you for everything you have done for us. Even ** (the other brother) is doing better. I think that in time he will accept mom and dad’s love. I picked out the pin so that you never forget that you were an angel for us. I love you.”

That moment in my life changed me. As I read what he wrote I kind of think he might have had help writing down his feelings and thoughts. For a tween he is very expressive. I don’t think that I would have been so brave if Mamacita had not encouraged me to go over and help. To me she is my angel. She encouraged me to take action. I love her for it.
So there you have it. They are doing so well. They miss their brother that died. That is to be expected. They feel the guilt and anger of enduring abuse. Last year for Christmas they got adopted. This year for Christmas they had a year to grow in that love. I see the beautiful boys that they were intended to be from the beginning shining through.
If ever you see something that is cause for alarm…TAKE ACTION. You never know the blessing you receive from it.

This year has taught me a lot. It has taught me that I hold my family even closer than I did before. It has taught me to give unconditionally when I can. It has also taught me to hold those up when they are down. It has taught me to count the blessing when I see them no matter how big or small.
I finally caught a bit of the Christmas spirit as I was talking with HB. He said, “I know you don’t think we have much for Christmas this year, but I have you. Santa will take care of the rest.” Funny funny kiddo. We actually have plenty for Christmas this year. All children has something to wear and something on their wish list. We bought all niece and nephew presents over the summer so we had everything pretty well done. They all have something fun as well. So there…it’s plenty. Normally we get one big gift from Santa and one pair of PJ’s for the kids and then something to wear and something to read. That’s more than I received as a child. They don’t exect everything.
I got the best deal ever on EBAY. HB is really into Star Wars and I found used toys of characters and two small ships for under $20.00. He’s going to think he hit the jackpot and I won’t have to deal with the below. (Thank you Sugar Mommy for this link. It has become my favorite Christmas Song EVER!)

I very much wish you and your families a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and every other holiday you may choose to celebrate. I value your bloggy friendship and support. No I won’t break into a song like “You Lift Me Up” or anything like that. I do though look forward to reading you my friends and peeking into your homes and lives. Thank you so much for sharing a piece of yourself.

XXOO

I have always loved Christmas. I must admit that this Christmas up to this point we have pretending that we have the Christmas Spirit. Neither HH nor I have felt like getting a Christmas tree, lighting up the house, baking or even singing our favorite Christmas songs. Nada…nothing. In doing so I think we lost sight of the meaning for Christmas.
This year will be somewhat lean. Not totally lean because we bought all the gifts before HH’s work claimed Chapter 11 but kind of different. That’s not a problem though. I know the kids will understand. I realized that the stress of this year has changed me in a lot of ways. We plodded through all of this stuff this year with a smile on our faces thinking that it would be better for the children if they didn’t see us stress completely out. In doing so I am continually reminding myself of the blessing we did have from all of the mess. Even with HH’s job situation I know that he will find something or his work will start having regular paychecks again…yet we are still on time with our payments….we have money in savings….we are ok. Why is it that I can not seem to focus on the blessing this time?
Keeping the “everything’s ok” smile on my face for the kids has not let me truly face the reality that this is a hard time for everyone…not just us. Wherever you are at and whatever you are facing I want to encourage you that you are not alone. I want to lift you up in this sort of willy nilly rant/blab and encourage you to not give up. When 2008 is over we will close the door and start fresh. Yes, the past year will be with us but hopefully we can still focus on the blessing not the pain.

***READ FULL POST PLEASE****

**Computer professional with 10 plus years experience including, CRM and database marketing consulting, with 8 years experience on PeopleSoft applications. Areas of experience include all phases of process design, review and development, systems setup and performance tuning, report definition and creation. Recent project experience has been focused on Peoplesoft CRM Sales implementations working directly as a systems developer, development team lead and business systems analysts.

Will work for a paycheck. Have not seen one from current employment for a month now. Yet still loyally working. Chapter 11 has claimed the company, yet HH is still working. He does not want to leave the customer in a state. Where can you find that type of loyalty to finish a job?

-Will Travel
-105%-118% billable this last year (How is that possible?? But true)
-Will learn new tool set if needed
-Enjoys constant change and interaction with clients
-Detail oriented
-Get called in for application design from seasoned designers

Dream Job - It would encompass everything from design, development and implimentation mixed with client interaction.

Does your work or anyone you know need this kind of brilliance? If you know anyone that is interested just comment and I will send you HH’s resume.

I was enjoying a nice cup of hot cocoa this morning with my personal random setting on the cd player. I love that setting. It has all of my favorite cd’s and randomly picks the next bit of melodic tones. Suddenly…*INSERT LITTLE EINST**N’S CLINKY CLASSICAL MUSIC GAH. Who messed with my settings??!!

Why is it that you always hear of people losing their jobs, company’s not paying their people, layoff’s happening at Christmas? In our household that has sort of happened.
HH’s company will be filing chapter 11 tomorrow. We haven’t had a paycheck in 3 weeks. They keep promising but not panning out. HH is still producing with his client. He is one of the biggest producers that they have as a consultant. He is hard working, loyal, and very knowledgable in his field.
We got the call tonight that we will not be getting a check…AGAIN. If we were to look for another job now that they are filing chapter 11 would he even get paid for what he did work? We are at a crossroads.

Two weeks ago I attended a pretty amazing birth of a new little baby girl. Before I talk about the birth I want to write about the discussion her mom and I had before hand. For the blog sake we will call her Karen.
Karen and I were discussing all of her concerns before she gave birth. She did not have a good relationship with her parents, especially with her mom. She was concerned that she would not be a good mom to her new little girl because she doesn’t know what a good relationship looks like.
I explained to her that even though her relationship with her mother was not good that did not predetermine her relationship with her daughter. Breaking the cycle was going to be difficult, but something that was in her power to do. I also asked my mentor to address it with her and she explained that I had said exactly what she would have said. Honestly, it was something I had never addressed with a new mom. Most of my new moms are excited and nervous and scared about being a new mom, but not even giving a second thought to their relationship with their unborn child because they already had a bond.
My heart went out to her. I did not always have a great relationship with my mother BUT it was because I chose it to be that way. She was there for me 110% of the time. It was me that walked away. Yes, she drove me crazy at times and I even questioned if she loved me or not at points. I always came to the same conclusion. Yes, she loved me, yes she cared, and yes she would always be there for me even if I did not chose to have her there. I always feared her disappointment. Spankings, time outs, yelling, even boarding school wouldn’t have changed anything BUT to see the look of disappointment on her face…that was punishment enough for me. Good thing she didn’t figure it out!
The birth of this new baby girl went off without a hitch. As her body lay on top of her mama’s body I looked at her and she said, “You’re right. It’s important that I make the effort to change things for her. What a gift of life. I must seek guidance and help so that I can do right by her and break the cycle and fill our lives with love.” With that we both teared up.
Did I tell you today…I have a fulfilling career in front of me?